Celebrating the “Wins”
When you are a caregiver to someone with a physical or developmental disability, dementia, or mental illness, it is so very important to celebrate the wins. The wins are those milestones met, baby steps taken, and goals accomplished…no matter how small they may seem. Your dad suffering from dementia remembers your kids’ names and asks about them. You learn at the IEP meeting that a goal that had been on your child’s plan for the last two years has been met. Your child puts his shoes on or wipes his bottom unassisted. Your bipolar teenager has a solid week of being “even Steven” with no major ups or downs. Wins. All of them. And every single one should be celebrated! Because let’s face it, all of our loved ones’ deficits are emphasized everyday…by teachers, specialists, doctors, typical peers, and even us as caregivers sometimes. So when the wins come, take them, celebrate them, shout them from the rooftops, post them, and hey…blog about them.
Ahem…
Jeremiah had a major win a few weeks ago. The Penguin Project is a national theater group designed to teach individuals with developmental disabilities the art of acting in a modified version of a well-known Broadway musical. Each actor or actress has a peer mentor who helps them learn and remember their lines and choreography and they even support them on stage during the prodction. This was Jerry’s third play with Penguin Project. He was a pirate in Peter Pan Jr., a banker and candy shop owner in Mary Poppins Jr., and the baker in Beauty and the Beast Jr. for this year’s production. Rehearsals started in October and six months later, we sat with the friends and family of every other actor on that stage and marveled and cried and rejoiced n their accomplishments. The performance is always nothing short of a miracle and one of the best Broadway adaptations of the show you will ever see. I may be a bit biased of course, but others less invested have agreed with me.
I proudly embraced every aspect of Jerry’s role this year, from my shirt displaying his famous line to my loaf of bread earrings. And yes, I said LINES! This was the first year he had some and he did so well! He even showed emotion and facial expressions from time to time, which is huge for him. There was a time when he would ask the same question over and over again…that only required a one-word answer…and he would still not be able to remember or repeat it ten minutes later. NOW HE WAS RECITING LINES HE HAD MEMORIZED. WIN!
I saw the show four times all the way through…and I cried at the end every single time. I am one proud momma. God is good. This win will get filed with the others in my heart to pull out and lean on when the deficits try to rear their ugly head again.
The wins are there. Learn to recognize them, no matter how small or insignificant they may seem. Store them in your heart and use them as flotation devices when the deficits threaten to pull you under.